Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Киргизска пещера - преглед

Ей, момчета, ratat тук, ние разглеждаме днес пещерата Киргизстан
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Пещерата е много просторна. Добър за воден борд. Докато миризмата може да ви откаже отначало. Свикваш с миризмата на разлагане и лайна. Входът е с много отворена концепция. Избор да хвърлите вратата в кошчето вместо традиционната врата. Съединените щати, които атакуват близките домове, могат да бъдат страшни, но се отпуснете. Домакинът идва въоръжен с напълно натоварен калашников.
8/10 много евтин наем

Jelly Mario - Review

HEY GUYS, RATATOUILLE HERE. TODAY WE'RE REVIEWING JELLY MARIO

Image result for jelly mario

             This game is a remake of the first strand type game. The only difference between this game and the original, is the physics engine. The physics in the first game were great. It really made you feel like you were an Italian dude. The remakes physics suck ass. It reminds me of the baby from that one Pixar short "Tin Toy" AKA fucking stupid.
3/10 It has a little something for everyone.

Friday, November 15, 2019

RAID: Shadow Legends - Review

HEY GUYS, RATATOUILLE HERE. TODAY WE'RE REVIEWING Raid: shadow legends


This game sucks. This carcass of a game taints the YouTube sponsorship cesspit. How did they even get enough money for all these sponsors? Please leave me alone stupid company.
0/10 - Eat shit and live

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Crazy Korean guy smashes window while screaming bloody murder - Review

HEY GUYS, RATATOUILLE HERE. TODAY WE'RE REVIEWING Crazy Korean guy smashes window while screaming bloody murder


             This is a movie unlike any other. The controversial topic and the entrancing sound design make this film an absolute delight to see in theaters. The movie starts off with a man singing some random Korean song. We watch his slow descent into insanity as the lyrics he sing start getting more and more garbled until he is shrieking with anguish. He lets out all of his stress, anger, and pure rage by throwing his office chair at his window multiple times until it breaks. We can see his body contorting in unnatural ways before he decides to embrace the monster he's become and proudly showcase his work. The movie ends as he lowers the curtains on the vile act he's committed just before he takes the first steps to rehabilitation.
8/10 after watching this I have no need to see the new Joker movie.

Friday, September 6, 2019

Nate and Mason's Science Safety Video - Review

HEY GUYS, RATATOUILLE HERE. TODAY WE'RE REVIEWING Nate and mason's science safety video.

VOLUME WARNING!
             This video is a roller coaster of confusion. To start, you have some still images of a guy wearing a mask drinking bleach, vomit emoji, what I think is Luis Fonsi, and a steam broiled picture of Mason. Like most Hollywood blockbusters, this movie consists of three parts: Introduction, climax, and conclusion. The film begins with a short informative slideshow that sets the stage for the rest of the movie. The introduction teaches us a lot about Mason's character in the film. It shows how the character he portrays is careless when it comes to containers full of unknown liquid because he just chugs the stuff in the beaker.
             The climax involves the side effects of the beaker liquid kicking in as Mason thrashes around on the ground violently set to a wonderful soundtrack composed by the talented opera singer Lil Tecca. We then see what I interpret as Mason being judged for his time on earth by what appears to be an all powerful deity. As they thrash their arms around we get transported back to the aftermath of Mason's death.
             A final farewell to Mason, spoken by upcoming YouTube sensation quickly making $0.2 a video, Nathan Young. What Nathan describes is heartbreaking. A goodbye to one of his friends as we relive the moment of Mason succumbing to his poor decision to drink random liquid.
7/10 I don't like playing Dance Dance Revolution with my volume buttons in order to not blow my ears out.

Monday, August 26, 2019

cyber goths go sicko mode under a bridge - Review

HEY GUYS, RATATOUILLE HERE. TODAY WE'RE REVIEWING the video "cyber goths go sicko mode under a bridge"


             One of the first things that jumped out to me when I watched this video was the superb choice of actors. In the middle of the frame you have Burmpo Tungus playing "Man with long hair and black tank top#786" Mwlhabtt#786 is an excellent contrast between the other two characters with different acting capabilities. This is apparent on the left of the scene where we have Blonde Joker playing as "Escaped psychiatric patient". since this is one of Blonde Jokers first role in a major motion picture, he is clearly inexperienced. I think this is a positive trait because it ties directly into his characters personality.
             On the opposite side of the scene you have an unnamed person playing "Man with long blue hair and copious amounts of straps and belts" This is the clearly more experienced actor as can be seen by his patented "Boxing an invisible person while the tranquilizer goes into your system".
9/10 Best video on the internet
 

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Half Life 1 - Review

HEY GUYS, RATATOUILLE HERE. TODAY WE'RE REVIEWING HALF-Life 1


             Half Life is a game made by Valve way back when George Washington was president in 1998. The game starts with a man named Gordon Freeman, who literally never talks, not even while being shot. Gordon is going to work at the anomalous materials lab in the Black Mesa Research Facility. Gordon sucks at his job though so Black Mesa ends up going crazy mode and a bunch of aliens from the planet Xen come through a portal or something. I played this game with a friend using a Mod but single player is the same thing. In this game you will die, a lot. The combat is repetitive but insanely fun and challenging. The puzzles can be extremely confusing and ambiguous at times, some puzzles take so long to figure out that in the time it took me to complete I had already found the best value 4 bedroom apartment in New Mexico.
             One part of this game that baffles me to this day are the speed runners. Watching a group of people speed through the game, clipping in and out of walls, flying over entire areas, and gaining massive speed boosts out of thin air is nothing short of impressive. I myself have tried one of the techniques they used, the bunny hop. When they bunny hop it's comparable to "Kung Fu Panda". When I bunny hop it's comparable to the Brazilian bootleg "The Little Panda Fighter"
             If you want a fun game to play with your buddy's for a weekend then download this game for free off of the Steam store. If you're on console that's too bad whoop bye bye.
7/10 Put it on easy if you're bad at video games.

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Planet 51 - Review

HEY GUYS, RATATOUILLE HERE. TODAY WE'RE REVIEWING Planet 51


                 
Planet 51 is a garbage movie. The whole plot is based around "Alien guy land on earth? MORE LIKE EARTH GUY LAND ON ALIEN" I have no idea how they managed to get Dwayne Johnson to play as the astronaut when the movie has such an absence of quality. I think that 90% of this movies budget went towards licensing the Lollipop song in the opening credits. The animation and art style are some of the most generic things I've ever seen. Nothing about it is interesting or appealing, just like a Netflix original anime. This movies comedy is vomit inducing. Not only do they have several dog pee jokes, they also do Family Guy cutaway gags. The story is generic and predictable, I could already guess the ending in the first 15 minutes of the movie.
                 Despite this movie being complete dumpster vomit, I have watched it over 4 times this year alone. There is something so inherently awful about this movie that makes me come back to it and I don't know what it is. This movie makes me absolutely disgusted and I wish to be released from it's icy grip on my hollow life.
0/10 No

Friday, August 16, 2019

Banan by: TheFloggyDrank - Review

Hey guys, Ratatouille here. Today we're reviewing "Banan" by TheFloggyDrank on YouTube



                 I want to start this review by complementing the excellent cinematography, It makes sure that only information critical to the story is seen by the viewer. The story of Banan is one of trust, sacrifice, and despair. The story starts off with an unnamed man readying himself to bite into a newly peeled banana. Unbeknownst to the man, the banana has a nasty brown spot on it. I think this is an excellent metaphor to the fact that not everyone is perfect, and that we hide our imperfections away from the ones we care about. As the man is about to bite into the banana, the banana falls away from its peel and away from the man's life. The man lets out a cry of pain as he realizes that the banana was not as perfect as he thought it was. The banana's motivations for falling out of the peel were unknown. But many psychologists and science people seem to have one common theory. "I think the banana removed itself from the peel as a way to save the man from more pain then he would have had if he bit into the nasty part of the banana." Says Bartle Butter Bumba Rumba, the lead scientist at someplace I forgot the name of. All in all, I would give this video a 6/10 because it's boring.